


Paths In Perspective

by Carofine



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Naruto, Hurt/Comfort, I guess at least, Inosaku is kinda a side thing but it's GONNA BE THERE!, Kid Fic, M/M, Regret, Romance, Sasuke and Sakura are actually friends wow, Self-Hatred, Switched Lives, sasukes gay lads....fellas...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-04-11 19:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4448903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carofine/pseuds/Carofine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Naruto leaves the village for good, Sasuke will do anything to bring him back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is Caroline and this is my first (soon to be) multichapter fic. This first chapter doesn't really qualify as a chapter, but rather a prologue. I took the idea and a few finer details that'll be added later from tumblr user jam-art and another tumblr user sasukeapologist (he changed his url but i think his blog is password protected, so idk what to do about that, but if you want to contact him I was able to through tumblr user blackstar) Anyways plase leave a like and comment if you wan't me to continue this story!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Naruto leaves the village for good, Sasuke will do anything to bring him back.

Gone.

He was really gone and he wasn't coming back.

He had  _wanted_ to leave.

Why had he left? Why was everybody  _always_  leaving him?

_(Why didn't he kill me?)_

He knew why he hadn't of course.  _(He had cared about me enough to not kill me. Despite everything… despite all the things we've done to each other he still cared about me enough that he couldn't kill me.)_ Even when he was like  _that._ Wasn't it supposed to be impossible to get him out of that form without some insane sealing jutsu?

Yet here he was.

Alive.

 _(And lonely)_ A voice in his head said.

Right. Alive and lonely again.

He didn't know if he should laugh at the cruelty of the world or cry.

* * *

Free.

He was finally free!  _(Free from what? What was stopping me before?)_ Free to go wherever he wanted. Wherever he wanted other than back. Back to his so called home, back to  _him._

He sighed. Him. The only one who hadn't been his friend due to some prophecy or his family's fame. The only one who seemed to  _maybe_ understand even a semblance of the pain his life had been.

But he couldn't go back. Even if he wanted to he could never go back there.  _(Never. Never never never.)_ Not to a place that had worked so hard to ruin his life, not back to a place that had only seeked to use him.

Not back to  _him_ because now he was sure he'd only ever spoken to him out of courtesy and the only reason he'd tried to get him to come back was because of his quest to gain the approval of the village. All that "friend" shit had been a lie to trick him into returning. He was sure of it.  _(Absolutely, completely, sure of it.)_

He was  _sure_ he hadn't made a mistake and he was  _not_  going back. The only question was where was he supposed to go now?

_(Somewhere Sasuke won't find me, won't change my mind, won't bring me back.)_

And with that thought fresh in his mind, Naruto began  _(When had he stopped?)_ to run again, towards a world he knew nothing about.


	2. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Naruto leaves the village for good, Sasuke will do anything to bring him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a newfound respect for people who write fanfictions and update them every other week. Anyways, on the subject of the actual fic, going in it's gonna seem a little OOC, but I think a large part of Naruto and Sasuke's personalities were partially due to circumstance. Sasuke probably would've been a lot happier had his entier family not been killed by his older brother, and Naruto himself says that he very easily could've ended up like Sasuke, full of hatred, so please bear with me. Also to reflect some of the changed dynamics of this fic, certain stuff that's normally kept the same throught most fics, even AU's, might be different later on. Anyways, thanks for reading!

_(Breathing is easy when you’re under with someone else.  It’s only hard when you’re above the surface alone.)_  

* * *

Knock knock.

_(Say come in, it’s the polite thing to do.)_

His lips forming without permission, “Come in” leaving Sasuke’s mouth, even though more than anything in the world he didn’t want to talk to a human being right now, least of all the one he knew was on the other side of the door before the shock of pink hair was even revealed.

“Hi Sakura.” Sasuke sighed, turning from his face up position on the bed so that he was lying with his back to her.  

“Hi Sasuke.”  She said carefully, slowly and quietly closing the door behind her. _(She should’ve slammed it.  She should be more angry at me.  I let him go.  I couldn’t stop him.  Why isn’t anybody mad at me?)_ Sasuke could hear her approaching footsteps, hear the chair screeching as she sat down in it.  But he wouldn’t look.  Looking would allow her to see his face and nobody could know that he gave even the smallest of shits about this whole situation.  “He beat you up pretty bad, huh?” the normally loud girl said quietly.   _(Quiet.  Just like everything in this village.  Everything but Naruto.  Who is gone now.  And who I need to stop thinking about.)_

“No shit.” Came the muttered reply.  Sakura furrowed her brow.  She knew she couldn't do much but she was trying damnit!  And of course Sasuke couldn’t accept her help, all he could do was just keep on sulking in solitude, putting on a poker face and saying none of this mattered to him.  Whenever he said that, Sakura honestly couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth or not.  Sakura bit her lip before nervously continuing. 

“I’m sure you’ll be able to get him to come back.  Naruto is… Naruto.  He’ll realize he made a mistake and change his mind soon enough.”  Sakura said it with as much conviction as she could muster, which, given the present situation, wasn’t that much.  Obviously Sasuke would want to bring Naruto back because of their seal, and she would do all she could to reassure Sasuke that this was a goal within reach.  She forced a smile, not that Sasuke could see it with his back still to her.

“You weren’t there when we fought.  He seemed pretty set on leaving.”  Sasuke muttered angrily.  “Go away.” he said as he pulled the covers further over his shoulders, providing even more of a barrier between him and Sakura.  He felt her arm on his shoulder and immediately shook it off, finally turning around to glare at her. “Don’t suddenly pretend to care about me just because your stupid boyfriend-” He spat out that last word. “-isn’t around anymore.”  

Sakura’s eyes narrowed.  The asshole was testing her patience.  “Sasuke, you don’t seriously believe that I-”

“Just get out Sakura.”  Sasuke said.  “Please.” He added on the end, trying to sound as strong and uncaring as he could but causing it to come out as just a small quiet request.  Like that of a small child, which was not one of the things he wanted associated with him.

 _(Powerful, strong, detached, uncaring, cold, distant.)_ Sasuke repeated those words like a mantra, a mantra of who he was supposed to be.  But he wondered how much longer he could keep up this stone face that acted like Naruto’s disappearance meant nothing to him, or that all that did matter to him was that Naruto come back for him because of their seal. _(Stupid seal.  Throbbing constantly on the back of my neck.)_ He allowed _(Allowed because he had complete and total control over his mind thankyouverymuch)_ his mind to wander back to their fight as he heard Sakura quietly close the door behind her.

 _(Because you’re my friend!)_  

He didn’t allow _(Again, allowed, because he could’ve kept it in if he really wanted to)_ himself to cry until the footsteps faded and he was sure nobody could hear him.

* * *

He’d caught up.  Sasuke had finally caught up to him.  

“Naruto!” Sasuke yelled, relief flooding through his entire system.  Thank god he was okay.  Because he didn’t know what he’d do if he-

“Sasuke?” Naruto said not nearly as loudly as he turned around a sort of panic in his eyes.  “What are you doing here?”  Naruto’s eyes narrowed.  “You’re not going to try to bring me back are you?” There was a hint of anger in his voice.

Sasuke quickly composed himself.  God he probably looked like a desperate idiot right now. _(Remember.  You're alm, cool, collected, and untouchable.  Calm, cool, collected, untouchable, calmcoolcollecteduntouchab-)_ “-going back.” Naruto finished yelling.  God had Naruto been talking?  What had he said?  The word “no” had been said a lot.  “No” what?  Sasuke’s eyes widened in realization.  He didn’t mean... 

“You’re not coming back?”  Sasuke said raising an eyebrow, doing his best to reveal as little as possible of what emotions _(Stress, fear, anxiety)_ were running around inside of him.  What was happening?  He had not come this far just for Naruto to refuse to come back.  “You have to come back dumb ass.  This isn’t a choice.  Do you have any idea what I’ve been through to get here?”

Naruto raised his eyebrows.  “I don’t know and I don’t care.”  He yelled back.

 _(Why is he choosing now of all times to finally become cynical?)_ Sasuke covered up his minimal annoyance. “You know that leaving the village without permission is a punishable offense.  I’m risking my entire life as a ninja just to bring you back.”  Sasuke said in the quietest voice he could use and still be heard over the distance between them and the sound of the waterfall cascading down between them.  Naruto looked down at his feet, looking genuinely sorry before seeming to realize something and looking up.

“I didn’t ask you to come here Sasuke!” Naruto yelled.  “Go home.” He said, angrily _(How can he be angry?)_ tucking his bangs behind his ear, only for them to immediately fall back in front of his face.

_(His bangs.  God what I would give to -)_

Wait. 

Bangs.

Naruto wasn’t wearing his forehead protector.  Why the hell wouldn't he be wearing it?  For his occasional talk about how awful the village was Sasuke would’ve never thought that Naruto would ever actually break his loyalty to the village.

“Why aren’t you wearing your forehead protector?” Sasuke said darkly, already afraid he knew the answer but refusing to accept it until Naruto said it himself.   _(Please don’t say it, please don’t say it pleasepleasepleaseplease)_

Naruto looked back at the ground as he spoke.  “I can’t be a part of that awful village anymore Sasuke.  They… they used my clan.  They used me.  I just… I can’t stay in a place that will only ever see me as a tool, that ruined my clan.”  Naruto turned away and began to walk away.  Sasuke had to stop him.  

“Used you?  How did they use you?”   

Naruto sighed.  “None of your business bastard!”  He yelled back.

What wasn’t he telling him?  Why wouldn’t he tell Sasuke?  Didn’t he know that out of everyone in that miserable village he was the one who would understand him the most?  They had to understand each other or else It would get out.  And God only knew what It could do.  Wait a minute.  What if…

 “Is it the Kyuubi talking right now Naruto?  Because if it is you know that I can-”

“It is NOT Kurama.  Which is his name by the way.” Naruto sneered.   _(He shouldn't do that.  Hatred doesn’t suit him.)_  “Kurama isn’t nearly as bad as the village would have liked to have lead you and I to believe.  He’s not a threat.  I don’t need you anymore Sasuke.  I apparently never did to begin with.”  Naruto finished in a less angry tone.  

Sasuke was sure that was supposed to be reassuring but more than anything it hurt.  Sasuke opened his mouth to respond but Naruto beat him to it.

“You could always leave with me.”  Naruto said.

God if only Naruto could’ve known how many nights Sasuke would stay up thinking about those six words.  If he’d known then maybe he wouldn’t have said them out of courtesy to Sasuke’s sanity.  But he couldn’t have known, and in the moment Sasuke didn’t know either.  In fact Sasuke was in shock.

“You want me to leave with you?” Sasuke asked, doing an excellent job of masking his shock and slight joy.

“Not want necessarily.  S’just an offer.”  

God how tempting it was to just run away.  He could run away from a village that shunned him, scorned him, muttered about him when they saw him walking their way, looked at him but looked away as soon as he tried to meet their eyes.  But he couldn’t leave.  He’d promised his family and himself that he wouldn’t leave, that he’d redeem them and himself even though he hated them for getting him into his situation.

“You know I can’t Naruto.”  Sasuke said, and when he would replay this moment over and over again in his mind in the future, he would like to tell himself that Naruto was disappointed with his answer, because it made what happened next seem more bearable.

“Then why are you here asshole?”  Naruto shouted.

“To bring you back.” Sasuke said simply.  If there was ever a time he was glad he was good at concealing his emotions it was during this conversation.  Despite his brain’s’ screaming he knew for a fact that the most emotion he’d shown on his face had been a mere raise of an eyebrow or maybe the slightest widening of his eyes.  He couldn’t act weak, not when so much was riding on-

“Why?”  Naruto said, His face contorted into one of anger.  “So you can get that stupid place to ‘accept’ you or whatever it is you want them to do? ‘I brought back Uzumaki fucking Naruto!  I can control him!  I’m a good fucking person!  Everybody love me now!’”

Despite the fact that proving himself was part of the reason he knew he needed to bring Naruto back, Naruto’s statement still hurt.  He did care a about the village and proving his worth but in the end he cared more about Naruto.  And why was he being so cynical and dubious of Sasuke’s intent?  This wasn’t him.  This wasn’t Naruto.  Sasuke was about to try and put his thoughts into words when he realized Naruto was walking away.  Filled with panic Sasuke jumped the distance of the waterfall between them.  

“Wait!” He yelled as he grabbed onto Naruto’s wrist, immediately feeling mad at himself at how desperate it sounded as Naruto stiffened beneath his touch.  “You need to think rationally Naruto.  Where are you going to go?  What are you going to do once you leave?  How are you gonna survive?”  For as much as Sasuke wanted to believe in Naruto’s intelligence, this was seriously wavering his faith. Sasuke had tried to run away once after a particular fight with his father and although he’d only gotten as far as the edge of the village, he’d been much better prepared as a six year old than the thirteen year old boy standing in front of him.

“I don’t know Sasuke.  But I honestly don’t care.  All I care about right now is never going back to that awful, stupid, god forsaken village ever again.” Naruto said as he tried to pull free from Sasuke’s grip, but Sasuke just squeezed tighter.

“Sasuke let go.”

“No.”  

“Sasuke.”  Naruto said, something dark creeping into his voice.  “Let.  Go.”  

“I’m not letting you go and do something stupid that you’ll regret later.”  Sasuke said stubbornly, grabbing onto his arm with his other hand.  He didn’t want to hurt Naruto, just hold him still until he reconsidered and realized what he was trying to do was stupid.  Sasuke’s train of thought was interrupted by Naruto looking over his shoulder, his eyes red.  

“I’m warning you Sasuke.” Naruto’s voice did the thing it did whenever this happened   _(Deep, throaty, full of rage, a little evil)_. Sasuke’s sharingan activated instinctively and he could feel his half of the seal pulsing on the back of his neck.  

“Naruto.  It’s starting to-”  Sasuke was cut off in surprise when Naruto suddenly ripped his arm out from Sasuke’s grip in a sudden burst of strength.  Sasuke looked into Naruto’s eyes, searching for how much of what was happening now was Naruto and how much was The Kyuubi.  God he knew he’d been preparing for this since the day they’d been linked and he had subdued the Kyuubi before but every time it happened he couldn’t help but think of what the merits of failure would be.  He began to concentrate on the Bijuu within when a single word stopped him.

“Stop.”  Naruto said it with such conviction that Sasuke immediately deactivated the sharingan.  Never, in all the times he’d had to take control, not once had Naruto ever objected.   _(What’s wrong something must be wrong whatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoido?)_  Sure, Naruto didn’t come running and throw himself into Sasuke’s arms yelling 'HELP ME' and he had expressed _some_ reluctance but in the end he knew that it was necessary to protect the village from the thing inside of him.   _(And I knew that I needed to prove myself)._  Sasuke had stopped trying to gain control but still Naruto’s eyes were slitting, the marks on his cheeks grew darker and Sasuke could see his canines growing sharper through his slightly open mouth.  

“Naruto you know that I have to do this to protect you and anybody else who might be around.”  Sasuke began in the most authoritative and mature voice he could speak with especially considering the fact he knew they were the only ones around for miles.  Yet Naruto shook his head.

“I already told you, that’s what they want us to think.”  Naruto growled, his voice starting to waver, his eyes slowly growing more intense.  Sasuke could see his nails _(Claws?)_ growing longer and sharper as Naruto’s hand gripped his arm in a vice, the nails starting to cut through some of his jackets fabric.  “I don’t expect you to understand what it feels like to live your life only to learn you’ve been completely taken advantage of the entire time.”  Sasuke swore Naruto was crying now _(Angry tears, not sad tears)_ , which caused his own fist to clench up a little.   

“Naruto I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you mean by ‘taken advantage of.’ ”  Sasuke said matter-of-factly, trying his hardest _(And succeeding please tell me I’m succeeding_ ) not to let the fact that seeing Naruto cry, even if they seemed like tears of anger more than anything, made something dark and sad well up inside of his own chest.  At Sasuke’s statement Naruto looked up, a tear _(He was crying he was really crying pleasestopstopstop)_ still running down his cheek, but any look of sadness _(Why was I hoping it would be sadness and not anger?  God what is wrong with me)_ was gone from his face.  There was just fury.  

Naruto leaned into Sasuke’s face and growled _(He’s close oh god he’s close)_ “I’m leaving.”  before turning around and marching determinedly away.

“No you’re not.” Sasuke said it like it was a fact, partially to reassure himself he supposed, running forwards and grabbing Naruto by his forearm again.

Only this time he wasn’t prepared for the kick to his stomach that followed the grab.

Sasuke was sent skidding back, almost falling off the edge of the monument he’d been kicked with such force.  The pain barely registered because Sasuke’s body and brain were too busy processing the shock.  Naruto and him had had their fair share of fights yes, but those had always been friendly spars.   _(Friendly.  Because we’re friends.)_  Always friendly, with the exception of the time on the roof where they’d nearly killed each other.  Was that what they were doing now?  Nearly killing each other?

Because Sasuke knew which one of them had to end up nearly dead and it wasn’t him.

 “Do you really want to fight?” Sasuke sneered, feeling a sort of anger bubble up inside of him.  “Do you really want to lose to me?” Sasuke said with such confidence he almost felt it.   _(Because I’m stronger, I’m better, I’ve always been even if nobody has noticed.)_

Any legitimate confidence left Sasuke’s body when Naruto started to laugh.  Not his loud boisterous, tinkling laugh, _(Tinkling like a bunch of bells, like a windchime, like the sounds butterflies wings should make but don’t_ ) but a dark rumbling laugh that sounded angry and sad.  The kind of laugh reserved for pitying the losing team _(Me.  I’m the one who’s going to lose)_  The kind of laugh reserved for those on the brink of insanity _(Naruto, on the edge.  But it shouldn’t be him.  It should be me.  He wasn’t built to hate.)_

“You really think you can beat me?”  Naruto laughed.  “Sasuke… when was the last time you actually saw Kurama in the flesh?”  Naruto was slowly walking towards a slowly getting up Sasuke, staring down at him with red eyes and a fanged grin.  Sasuke knew there was no way Kurama could actually leave as long as he was there, _(Right?)_  But the seal on his neck was red hot searing pain, _(Red like both of their eyes, red like the flames burning in Sasuke’s stomach, red like the anger burning between them)_ hotter than it had ever been, and that had to mean trouble.  

Quickly forming seals with his hands, Sasuke brought his hand to his mouth and blew a fireball towards the blond, who instantly poofed out of existence.  A clone.  So then where was the original?  

As Sasuke felt someone grabbing him from behind he knew where.

“Gotcha bastard.”  

* * *

Ten days, fourteen hours, forty-three minutes, and twenty-two seconds.

But who was counting? 

Additionally eight days _(What time they had started exactly he couldn’t know)_ since the dreams began.  The dreams where he was running, running away from everything and hating himself for it.  Hating himself so much.  The dreams where the steal on his stomach was on fire _(Fire, like how his skin burned whenever He got out but wasn't supposed to)_ and he could hear him yelling at him in his head, yelling at him to come back, to turn around.  He could feel him pulling at him, trying to drag him back.  And it hurt oh God did it hurt.  But he couldn’t go back.  Not back to that absolute hell.

And then Sasuke would wake up in a cold sweat, the three tomoe seal on his neck burning like hellfire itself.  And it was now that he hated that they were connected by these god forsaken things, that they were, had been, and would be.  All because of  the disaster that ruined his life by giving him one new good thing in replacement of the many that were lost.

_(And now even the one good thing is gone.)_

* * *

_(Being alone and loneliness are two very different things.  One is temporary, the other is forever.  Or at least it feels like it is.)_

* * *

“Naruto!  Wake up!”  Naruto felt his body being shaken, opening his eyes blearily to see Mikoto.  What was his mom’s guardian doing here?  Sitting up carefully he looked over next to her to see her younger son _(What was Sasuke doing here?)_ standing next to her, holding her hand, looking just the slightest bit scared, his lower lip wobbling.

“Mmmmm,”  The eight year old said lazily starting to get out of bed.  “Mikoto?  What’s -”

Someone shouted “Mother!”  before poking their head in to reveal that the yell had been from none other than Itachi Uchiha, the older son of the two. The thirteen year old continued, “Mother, you need to hurry.  I’ll try to postpone them but I don’t think I can do it for long.”  

“Mother, I’m scared.”  Sasuke said, showing an uncharacteristic amount of fear 

“It’s going to be fine.”  Mikoto said in a soothing and reassuring voice, completely conflicting the panicked expression on Itachi’s face and the obvious urgency of whatever was happening right now.  “Naruto you need to get up.”  She said.

“I don’t understand.  Where’s Mom?”  Naruto said, panic starting to work into his voice.

“Shhhh… It’s okay.”  Mikoto said.  “You need to come with Sasuke and I okay?”  Naruto slowly nodded, getting up, quickly grabbing ahold of Sasuke’s free hand.  He felt the other boy squeeze his hand reassuringly, or as reassuringly as he could when his hand was trembling as much as it was.

The boys followed Mikoto out the back entrance of the young blond boys house, and further still to leave the Uzumaki compound.  They were walking towards the hills directly beyond the village.

“Mikoto, why are we leaving the village?”  Naruto asked nervously.

“We have to meet up with your mother.”  Mikoto answered quietly.  At the notion of his mother, Naruto perked up a bit, and he began to walk a little faster.  He wanted to know that she was safe from whatever was going on.  So he continued to walk in line with Mikoto, dragging Sasuke, who had let go of Mikoto’s hand a little while ago _(Because he likes holding my hand)_ , along behind him.  

He wasn’t prepared for what they found upon reaching a clearing in the woods.

It was huge.  It was terrifying and you could almost see the hate oozing out of it’s every pore.  It was the thing that was supposed to be in his Mom, wrapped in chains.  The Kyuubi.  Suddenly Naruto froze upon seeing the things eyes and snarling mouth.  It looked like it was trying to break free of the chains, and he honestly thought that the chains would snap.  He saw his parents nearby,  his Mom lying down while his Dad attended to her.  She looked exhausted.  He wanted to run over to her, but was stopped by the colossal beast standing in front of him.  Why had Mikoto brought them here?  He had felt Sasuke go rigid in his hand at the mere sight of the thing.  He heard Mikoto yelling, something that sounded awfully like her husband's name, and all he remembered was pure terror.

“Fugaku, get Sasuke ready for the sealing.”  He heard Mikoto saying as he felt Sasuke’s hand slipping away from his.  The thing was still growling, moving against its chains.  Naruto could’ve sworn it looked at him for a second, pure hatred and bloodlust in it’s eyes, but he wasn’t sure if it had actually looked his way or if he’d just been hallucinating. Frozen stiff, Naruto barely registered his Dad taking hold of his hand gently and whispering to him that he was safe, and that his mother would explain more but he would explain what he could for now, and Naruto really wished he’d been listening to what his father had been saying because the next thing that happened was the chains snapping.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a kudos or comment.


	3. Doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! You're going to notice in this fic that I took some liberty and changed how a few things worked in this fic (A certain jutsu in this chapter)

_("Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.")_

* * *

 

"Gotcha bastard." And then Sasuke was falling, instinctively reaching for a kunai from his pouch and launching it in the direction of the other boy. Sending chakra to his feet, Sasuke landed horizontally on the side of the statue he'd been falling from. He saw a figure of the other quickly running towards him, with several others following behind him. Sasuke activated his sharingan in preparation, knowing that the fight had just begun.  _(He's going to move left, deliver a roundhouse kick, that clone will aim a punch at my head, and that clone is going to throw a few shuriken my way.)_ Sasuke focused everything on avoiding, dodging, and counterattacking  _(Jump, kick, punch, flip, kunai, kick, kick, turn, drop, jump, punch)_ trying as hard as he could to ignore the emotions flooding through his mind and matter because now of all times was the  _worst_ time for his emotions to start making him weak, weaker than he already was on a regular day. The clones were coming in groups rapidly, but Sasuke was ready. He grabbed the collar of one clone's jacket before bashing the clone's head against that of another clone approaching him causing them to poof out of existence. While delivering a nasty drop kick to the side of one clone's head he threw a slew of shuriken at three other oncoming clones. They too disappeared. Putting his hands together Sasuke formed the proper seals before letting a fireball lose from his mouth burning two other clones. Sasuke was starting to get sick of this.

"Are you just going to hide from me? Or are you going to come out and fight?" Sasuke yelled toward the sky, getting into a position so that he'd be able to counter an attack from any direction, red eyes shifting. From the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw Naruto's silhouette against the sun, running towards him. Preparing himself for a punch, Sasuke ran towards Naruto's approaching figure, meeting him halfway. He grabbed onto the fist Naruto was sending his way, fully prepared to launch the teen towards the water below, but Naruto overpowered him  _(Why did I think he wouldn't? He always has)_ sending him flying off the side of the monument. Jumping back and forming seals with his hands, Sasuke let out several small fireballs from his mouth, aiming them at Naruto who easily dodged them. Naruto took out several shuriken and threw them towards Sasuke, but with the aid of his sharingan they posed no threat to him as he aptly dodged them. Naruto ran forward and Sasuke became lost in the flurry of punches and kicks being delivered and that he was delivering until suddenly, a punch landed solidly in his gut, sending him flying off the side of the monument and down into the water.

As water enveloped his body, Sasuke swore he saw something flowing off of Naruto's body, but before he could a good look water was covering his eyes and his body, and his back felt like it was on fire from where his body had made contact with the surface. Immediately, Sasuke pulled himself above the water, dodging where Naruto was about to land on top of him just in time. As he rubbed the water out of his eyes Sasuke could immediately feel something was…off. Opening his eyes, he didn't see Naruto. He saw something else almost entirely.

_(The Kyuubi)_

Naruto's whisker like marks on his cheeks were darker and thicker, his eyes were an even deeper red and his pupils had become thin slits. His nails were claws, and his sneer was fanged.

But the largest difference was the red chakra leaking out from his every pore, enveloping him in a cloak of red bubbling chakra. The cloak had two long ears and a single tail that randomly lashed out.  _This_ was what Sasuke was there to prevent from happening, and what was he doing?  _(Fighting and failing.)_

Thinking quickly Sasuke tried to analyze Naruto's new apparent method of attack as Naruto got down on all fours. The chakra must be restricted to Naruto's immediate area, so as long as he stayed far away from Naruto, used long ranged attacks to keep them distanced, and kept his sharingan active, he should be fine.

Sasuke was proved wrong when Naruto's newfound chakra formed an arm, grew towards him, grabbed him, and threw him. As Sasuke crashed against the rocky cliffside he realized that not only could Naruto's chakra grow and now nowhere was safe, but also that his sharingan hadn't been able to predict the moves on the chakra which moved independent from Naruto's body.  _(Almost as if it has a mind of its own)_  Just as Sasuke was pushing himself off the rocky cliff he was pushed back, letting out a groan of pain at the arm pushing against his throat. Opening his eyes, red met red, and Naruto  _(Or was it the Kyuubi?)_ squinted his eyes at him. Naruto looked up and down his body, eyes shifting.

"Why do you care?" He whispered, sounding honestly confused. "Is it because you have something to prove to the people of the village? Is that it? Have you been using me just like everyone else all this time?" His voice was becoming increasingly angry and he pressed his forearm harder against Sasuke's throat. Sasuke coughed, blood coming out with the sound his throat made. He  _hated_ this. Did Naruto honestly think that was the only reason he was trying to bring him back?  _(Have I really been that cold? Surely he must realize that I-)_ Sasuke's thoughts were cut off when the arm pressed even further into his throat and Sasuke gasped for air, hands clawing at Naruto's arm trying to make him let him go.

"Well?" Naruto said. "Why. Do. You. Care?"

And in that moment a thousand different responses flowed into Sasuke's mind.  _(Because I want protect you, to rebuild myself, because I care about you, because I need you or else I wouldn't be sane, because I don't want you to ruin your life)_  But all he could feel was pure  _anger_  at the accusation. As selfish as he was, he wasn't that much so, and the fact that that was what Naruto seemed to think made him feel…  _(Hurt.)_

Sasuke had never been good at sharing his emotions. Ever since his parents death he'd dealt with them by putting on a stoic and aloof mask. The only person who could make him break was Naruto, and he  _hated_ that that was the case. He  _despised_ himself for all the times he'd let down his guard in front of him. He was supposed to be the strong one in their friendship, his duty was to protect the other and, by extension, the lives of an entire  _village._  Yet he'd broken down and cried in front of Naruto more than once. As Sasuke tasted salt on his lips he realized this was one of those times. Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, but then he felt his body shaking. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling an unbearable pain in his left eye  _(Like being stabbed repeatedly in the eye, like someone's trying to tear my nerves out through my eye socket)_  before opening them.

"Because…" Sasuke began quietly, tasting blood on his lips trickling down from his eye. "Because I'm your friend!" He shouted,  _(God, that sounded weak)_ and suddenly Naruto was skidding across the water and Sasuke realized he was surrounded in a burning, indigo skeleton.

Sasuke knew this was one of his clan's techniques  _(Susano'o)_ , and due to the curse of hatred, it was directly related to the user's emotional state and the feeling of loss until they learned to gain control  _(Do I feel like I've lost Naruto? Is that it?)._  He  _had_ to know this of course, because the Uchiha was a powerful clan, and he had to know everything there was to know about being one in order to survive what with all the drawbacks of using the sharingan and the people who sought after their eyes and bodies for power. In addition, he had to be a good little Uchiha and take care of the jinchuriki because nobody else wanted to and nobody else should need to. It was supposed to be the way he could redeem himself. But even if that was partially true, Sasuke still hurt. He wasn't doing this just because

Sasuke reached up and wiped at his eyes. Looking down at his hand, he saw it was covered in crimson. He would've winced at the mental image of his face he was provided if it weren't for the all consuming rage that was filling him. How  _dare_ Naruto think he was doing this out of an obligation? Did he even  _understand_ how much Sasuke was hurt by the very idea? This entire time, had Sasuke been reading into every interaction they'd had? Had Naruto always thought Sasuke was doing this for the village and not for him? Gripping his hand, Sasuke noticed that the skeletal hand did the same and he saw Naruto's form getting up from where he'd hit the rocky cliffs on the opposite side of the water. As Naruto's form recovered Sasuke began running towards him. He could see it. He could see it all. Even the chakra's movements that had confused his eyes at first were easy to predict with his new sharingan. In the back of Sasuke's mind he wondered if it was normal to get the mangekyō sharingan at such a young age and just over the very  _thought_  of losing someone, but too much adrenaline was pumping through his body for the thought to really register. As he ran towards the now fully standing  _(Or was it technically crouching?)_ Naruto, he barely noticed the slight look of shock on the other genin's face.

"What the hell are you?" Naruto yelled, already summoning a clone wrapped in the same chakra as the original, beginning to create a rasengan in his right hand.

"Haven't you heard? I'm the destroyer of the village!" Sasuke yelled back, bitterness lacing his tone  _(How many times had those very words been whispered in his prescense?)_ as Naruto began running towards him, rasengan in hand. Sasuke didn't even attempt to dodge the incoming attack as it collided with the rib cage surrounding him. Sasuke felt the impact slightly, but he didn't show it. "That's not going to work." He sneered. "Playtime is over Naruto." Sasuke said, as a skeletal hand reached out and grabbed Naruto's struggling form, lifted him up, and bashed him against the cliffside.

* * *

 

Naruto screamed.

It might not have been the most intelligent move considering a beast larger than most buildings in the village was standing right in front of him and the  _last_ thing he wanted was that huge, nine tailed demon focusing its lethality on  _him_ , but what was an eight year old boy renowned for never shutting his mouth supposed to do in this situation?

As quickly as it had started it had ended. His mother stood up and brought down chains that wrapped around the beast and buried themselves into the ground. The demon snarled, but relented. Naruto could feel himself shaking as he ran over to his mother who was now collapsed in the arms of Mikoto.

"Mom!" Naruto said as loudly as he could without attracting the beast's attention. "Mom what's going on? Why isn't the thing inside of you?" He questioned while running towards his mother and Mikoto. Kushina looked up suddenly, seemingly surprised at the sight of her son. She bit her lip and looked over at Mikoto nervously. As if asking for help. Mikoto just narrowed her eyes back at Kushina, who sighed before turning to Naruto.  _(Why are they looking at each other like that?)_ Kushina took a deep breath before beginning to speak.

"Naruto…You know that the seal has been weakening?" Kushina began carefully. Naruto nodded his head vigorously. That was what an Uchiha was for, keeping the beast in check. Kushina smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "And you know how cousin Karin is supposed to be the next jinchuuriki?" She continued. Naruto nodded his head again in affirmation. He knew his cousin well, as they often played together. She was the purest Uzumaki of his generation, which meant she was best suited for containing the beast. "Well…" Kushina continued. She took a deep breath before finishing. "Your dad and I decided we want it to be you instead."

Naruto did not do a good job of containing his surprise. "Why would you want it to be  _me_?" Naruto said, his confusion and shock clearly showing on his expressive face.

"You'll learn when you're old enough." Mikoto said calmly but quickly, her eyes giving away a sort of urgency. "Now hurry up, we have to begin the sealing." She said, getting up with Kushina, who leaned on her shoulder for support.

"Now? Right NOW?! But! But what about my Uchiha? Who is going to-" Naruto began.

"Sasuke is going to." Kushina answered before Naruto could finish his sentence as they made their way towards where Fugaku and Sasuke were sitting. Naruto gawked at his mother's back. Naruto and Sasuke were  _friends_ yes, but only because their mothers were best friends. They played together and liked doing things together, and on the way here they'd held hands  _(but that didn't count because we'd both been terrified)_  but Naruto was sure that before being linked permanently, people were supposed to be at least a little bit closer to each other? Sasuke on the other hand, looked as determined and calm and completely  _okay_  with the situation. At least, as much as someone his age could be. But Naruto noticed he looked a little scared in his eyes. Kushina looked towards the entrance to the clearing worriedly. "Naruto, Sasuke, lie down. We need to do this quick." She said. Sasuke carefully lied down as Naruto flopped on the ground. "Good. Okay boys… this could hurt a little bit." She muttered in an attempt at soothing as she put her hand under Naruto's shirt and on his stomach.

And then Naruto was screaming, and he knew nothing but pain.

* * *

 

As Sasuke got ready to throw Naruto's struggling form across the length of the lake something stopped him. Naruto's chakra had formed a hand and was grabbing onto the skeletons arm, trying to pull it off. When that didn't work, the chakra hand began to work on pulling off the individual fingers. Sasuke tried to hold on, but Naruto's chakra was too strong, and Naruto slipped through his grasp. Growling Naruto began to run towards him, the chakra reaching out and trying to grab Sasuke, but Sasuke easily predicted the movements and dodged them. They fell into a steady rhythm of punching and kicking and grabbing. Almost like they were two normal ninjas having a fight, only they  _weren't_.

Sasuke jumped back onto the water trying to get away from Naruto's approaching form, but as he did so, Naruto started to change. Sasuke hadn't noticed until now, but Naruto had been steadily growing chakra tails throughout the whole battle, and now a third one was beginning to appear. Sasuke tried to look into Naruto's eyes and cast a genjutsu, tried to get inside and make this all  _stop_  but all the happened was his left eye hurt even  _more_. Clapping a hand down on his burning eye, Sasuke looked up through fingers and a fiery ribcage to see Naruto, panting, his hands forming a cross, the seal for kage bunshin. Sasuke expected him to summon as many as possible to finish him, but instead only one appeared. Naruto held his hand out and the clone began making the scratching motions that Sasuke knew meant Naruto was creating a rasengan. As the yellow chakra began to form a spiraling sphere in his hand, a sense of urgency overcame Sasuke.

_(Both of us are exhausted. This will be the end of our fight.)_

Bringing his hands together quickly, he formed a chidori in his right hand. Susanoo'o was beginning to flicker away and Sasuke would later look back and know that from the moment the third tail had emerged he'd lost, but right now all he could think of was stopping Naruto.

So Sasuke ran forward, chidori in his hand, chirping with electricity, towards a fast approaching Naruto, and they each thrust forward their right palm and their hands collided.

As their hands connected the world seemed to pause. Everything but them became white light and Sasuke had the fleeting feeling of weightlessness. Looking into Naruto's eyes, he saw some sort of emotion that looked almost… apologetic.

And Sasuke would cling to the idea that Naruto didn't want to do this - didn't  _want_  to be hurting him - as suddenly everything turned to black.

* * *

 

_(Sometimes it is so much easier to hate and be hated than it is to love and be loved)_

* * *

 

"Ah!" Sasuke gasped as he sat up in bed.

He'd had the dream again. But that shouldn't be a surprise. Since Naruto had left Sasuke's dreams were either the ones where he was Naruto as he ran away, or a recount of the last fight they'd had.

It was always the worst when that dream played the  _entire_  way through because he could feel the feeling of losing each time, over and  _over_ again.

_(The feeling of not being good enough)_

Sasuke turned groggily to look out the window, and saw that the sun was in the middle of rising.  _(What time did the sun rise where Naruto is?)_ God, he shouldn't have gotten attached. There was a reason his mother was dead, and that was because she'd become too empathetic to whatever trouble Kushina had been in. Sighing, Sasuke got out of bed, and walked into his house's kitchen. The house was quiet, something Sasuke had long gotten used to except for the days when Naruto had slept over.  _(Seems like a childish sentiment now.)_  Pouring himself some cereal Sasuke quietly ate his food. It tasted like nothing. Sasuke walked into his bedroom to change. He grabbed his forehead protector and tied it around his forehead and pulled on a dark blue shirt, and his tan pants. He glanced at the other forehead protector lying on his bedside table, next to the photo of Kakashi, Sakura, Naruto, and him. He picked it up and looked at it contemplatively. After a few seconds, he slipped it into his ninja pack. Nobody had to know.

With that, Sasuke set out. He had a lot of important questions for his first day out of the hospital in two weeks.

* * *

 

Naruto stopped on the branch of a tree. Fourteen days. Naruto knew it had been that long because he'd been counting.  _(I really should've thought this through.)_ Naruto was mostly lost. He'd done a few odd jobs in the first  _(and only)_ village he'd come across to get some money, but it hadn't been a lot, and nothing had been keeping him in the small town just as nothing had been keeping him in Konoha. " _Except for literally everyone dobe."_ He practically heard Sasuke saying. Naruto shook his head to clear the thought of Sasuke from his mind. He really did miss the asshole but…  _(You promised! You promised to yourself you wouldn't go back and you wouldn't let the thought of Sasuke change your mind! You're an idiot, but you're an idiot who doesn't break his promises)_ Naruto internally groaned. That last bit had been something Sasuke had told him once. It seemed no matter how hard Naruto tried he couldn't forget about Sasuke, or any of his other friends for that matter.

But this was more important. Getting away and never looking back was more important than friends, despite how much he cared about them.

He would keep telling himself that until he believed it.

In the meantime, he had to keep distancing himself. He didn't know where he was going other than West  _("Usuratonkachi! Think things through for once instead of acting impulsively!")_ but he couldn't stay here long. Sasuke had been right. He had risked a lot to come after Naruto considering he hadn't gotten permission from Tsunade. But Sasuke had  _gone back_   _(probably)_. The punishments for actually leaving permanently and without permission were far worse. Naruto was a missing nin now.  _(A fucking criminal.)_ Even if Naruto wanted to go back  _(which I don't)_ he'd be in big trouble. He was lucky that word hadn't spread yet, or else he was sure the village he had just been in wouldn't have been nearly as hospitable.

Reaching into his jackets pocket he pulled out a food pill. They were disgusting, but they were all he had. He was lucky he hadn't thrown them out way back when Sakura had first given an entire bag of them to him. As he munched on one he cringed at the taste, but felt relieved by the feeling in his stomach.

He got up. It wasn't safe to stay still. As he began jumping across the branches of the trees he couldn't help but wonder how Sasuke and his friends were reacting.  _(Probably business as usual. I bet the bastard is just scheming how to get me back and gain the love of the dumb village.)_

Naruto refused to think Sasuke had been telling the truth when he'd called him his friend, because even  _Naruto's_ willpower wasn't strong enough to keep him from going back if that was the case.

* * *

 

Sasuke walked calmly into the Uzumaki district. The Uzumaki's lived separately from the rest of the village in their own little corner of the village so that they could be better protected from people who might to wish to capture them to be used as jinchuuriki. While anyone  _could_ be a jinchuriki, Uzumaki's were sought after more often because their bodies were better as vessels and their sealing jutsus were top notch. When someone figured out that an Uchiha's sharingan could contain and control a tailed beast, they created a seal that required that an Uchiha be linked to the jinchuuriki. It wasn't a common seal. As far as Sasuke knew  _(And I know a lot. I'd better after all my research)_ the seal was only used on Uzumaki jinchuurikis after the destruction of their village and after the clan had been relocated to Konoha.

Naruto and Sasuke had been linked. Actually, they still were. And not only were they linked, they had been  _(Still are in a way)_  best friends. The seal alone meant that they would be able to sense when the other was in danger or hurt, either emotionally or physically, but their friendship had somehow strengthened the seal, which was why whenever Naruto was in emotional turmoil the seal on Sasuke's neck would flare in pain, and vice versa.

Lately the pain in Sasuke's seal hadn't stopped.

Sasuke reached up to knock on the door of one of the houses in the district. He did  _not_  want to be here, but he had to if he was to figure out where Naruto might be.  _(Just don't give her any ideas. Don't say anything more than necessary, and be concise and quick)_. Sasuke took a deep breath as he prepared himself for the yelling that was sure to happen as the door was opened by the red head he'd come here to see.

"Hello Karin." Sasuke sighed.

"Sasuke?" Karin squawked in shock. Sasuke rolled his eyes  _(Here we go...)_  "What are you doing he-" But Sasuke cut her off.

"What do you know about Naruto leaving the village?" Sasuke asked, grey eyes narrowing as they looked into red. Karin bit her lip nervously.

"Maybe… You should come in to talk." She said ominously. Sasuke sighed  _(Of course we have to talk)_ as he followed her into the house.

Today was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was chapter 2! Please leave a comment and kudos!


	4. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK??? I last even WORKED on this fic when I was 12 and now I'm almost 16 and posting the next chapter lol. I was over this and suddenly had an overwhelming need to work on it and continue it so! Here it is! Sorry for abandoning it for so long.
> 
> My writing style has understandably changed a LOT and I apologize for any sudden shift in the tone for people reading for the first time. It's kinda short considering how long it's been so I'm sorry about that.
> 
> This chapter was betad by k8lyn and Crystalklk! I love both of them so much.

Sasuke sat down gracefully on the floor in front of the table in Karin’s home. Karin sat down a little less elegantly, her eyes shifting to the side whenever Sasuke tried to make eye contact. Sasuke noticed that she wasn’t very good at hiding her fear. Fleetingly, Sasuke thought that none of the Uzumakis he’d known had ever been good at hiding their emotions, but that thought made him think of wild blond hair and fierce blue eyes, so he pushed it away.

The two teens sat together in an awkward silence. Karin kept looking like she was about to say something, but as soon as she opened her mouth, she closed it again. Sasuke didn’t speak for fear that, if he did, Karin wouldn't say whatever seemed to be on the tip of her tongue. But after several minutes of sitting in silence it became too much for Sasuke to bear. He didn’t have all day to stay here.

“Did you know that he was going to do it?” Sasuke inquired quietly.

Karin’s head snapped up from where she had been examining the table as if it was the most interesting thing in the world at the first words that have been shared since Sasuke had entered the house. She stared at him dumbly, her eyes wide. Sasuke sighed internally before reiterating, “Did you know Naruto was going to leave the village?” He bit out, his eyes narrowing threateningly. _(She’d better not have because if she did that means he didn’t tell me andwhywouldn’thetellme?)_ Karin looked at him for a moment, before swiping off her glasses and cleaning the already pristine lenses with her shirt. She opened her mouth to speak before closing it again. She put her glasses back on her nose and bit her lip.

“I…” She began carefully, looking up into Sasuke’s eyes quickly before looking away again.

“Yes.” She said as she stared at the floor. “But, Sasuke I didn’t-”

“And you didn’t think to tell anybody?” Sasuke said, voice laced with venom. _(He told her he told her he told her and not me! Of course he did. They’re blood you idiot. But he should’ve-)_

“You didn’t think to tell me?” He said, his voice rising in volume. “If I had known before I - _we_ \- could’ve-”

“I don’t think you could’ve stopped him Sasuke.” Karin said lowly. “He was…” She trailed off, eyes looking a little far away. “He was furious.” Karin said, not even looking at Sasuke completely. Sasuke couldn’t imagine Naruto ferocious and purposefully violent.

“Tell me how you found out.” Karin’s eyes snapped back to Sasuke’s. “He must’ve had at least some idea of where he was going. He’s stupid, but he’s not stupid enough to just run away to nowhere.” Sasuke said. “Did he tell you why he left?”

Karin grabbed a bit of her hair and started tugging on it, avoiding eye contact. “Well…” She took a deep breath and seemed to solidify her resolve. “I was sleeping one night when he came in. He shook me awake. I asked him what he was doing in my house in the middle of the night and he told me he needed my help. And I thought it was with something simple, like a mission he was going on or something, but when I asked him what he needed help with, he said he was going to leave the village.” Sasuke opened his mouth to bite out something about why she hadn’t told anybody, but Karin quickly put her hand up, signaling him not to speak. “Let me fucking finish before you go around jumping to conclusions!” She said, a bit of her usual aggressiveness showing through. Sasuke snapped his jaw shut, but he wasn’t happy about it.

“Anyways,” Karin continued. “I asked him why in the hell he would want to do that. I mean, people all over the world are after jinchuuriki, and he’s got the most powerful one sealed in him. The village is protecting him, y’know? So I told him that stuff, and when I said the bit about the village protecting him he _yelled_ at me this whole thing about how that wasn’t true. But he _refused_ to tell me why that was apparently such a lie," Karin frowned, and her eyebrows scrunched up as she continued. "And so then he asked me again if I would help him and I said no. I wasn’t going to help him make a stupid mistake.”

Karin sighed. “Now, before you ask me why I didn’t tell Tsunade or _you —_ like you could talk him out of it— I didn’t tell anybody because even though I thought it was a fucking idiotic idea, Naruto has the right to do what he wants with his life.” Karin finished.

Sasuke blinked. Naruto had a right to do what he wanted? Weren’t friends supposed to be there to tell people when their ideas were moronic?

“If you really cared about him you wouldn’t have let him go.” Sasuke hissed, bitterness lacing his voice like the flavor of the same name lacing Sakura's infamous food pills. Suddenly, Sasuke was off the couch and standing. “If you really cared about him you wouldn’t have let him do something so stupid!” Sasuke clenched his fists, nails biting into his palms. _(He didn’t tell me he didn’t tell me he trusted her more than me morethanmeMEstupidstupidstupidstupid)_ “Isn’t that what caring about somebody is? Stopping them from hurting themselves?” Sasuke was yelling but he didn't care. He didn't care. Naruto was gone and Karin was acting like it was somehow okay.

Now it was Karin's turn to stand up. “Oh shut up Sasuke! What do you know about caring about somebody? We both know the real reason you want to bring him back is because of all that ‘proving yourself’ and ‘being accepted’ bullshit! You’re just upset because you couldn’t be a good Uchiha and control another human being’s life!” Sasuke’s eyes widened. He took in a sharp breath.

“Does everybody really think that?” He whispered. “Do _you_ honestly believe that?”

Sasuke could deal with a lot of things. But when the entire village thought he was going to turn around one day and set the place ablaze it _hurt_. Maybe he’d started doing all the things Uchihas were supposed to do with Uzumakis to prove them wrong, prove that he was trying to protect the village, that he wasn’t the murderer that everyone seemed to think he was. And he had known - still knew - that his parents would have wanted him to redeem himself to live a normal life. But it had evolved from that. Once he'd been doing his job in the hopes of redeeming himself, but that was then and this was now! He’d thought he had…

_(But you didn’t. You fucked up. You fucking idiotidiotidiotidiotIDIOT)_

Sasuke realized from Karin’s wide-eyed expression that he was doing something strange. He felt salt on his lips and suddenly realized that he was _crying._ No. Nonononono. Uchiha’s weren’t supposed to cry. Or maybe it was just him who wasn’t supposed to? It didn’t matter. _It didn’t matter._

“Did he say where he was going?” Sasuke asked, immediately mortified by the tremor in his voice.

Karin nodded slowly, any anger having left her body at the sight of Sasuke, normally so silent and emotionless, shedding tears. “He said something about going west.” She muttered, before looking at the floor. Sasuke nodded, his body still tense, his fists clenched, but the tears slowed.

“Thanks.” The brunet said quietly, turning and marching out of the house, not looking back until he had left the Uzumaki district completely.

_(Stupid)_

* * *

Sasuke took the stairs up to the top of the Hokage tower two at a time. He sprinted past the ANBU guards who hollered at him to stop, and threw the doors to the Hokage’s office open. When the blonde woman looked up from where she sat, sipping from a cup of sake, Sasuke immediately composed himself, letting his face become passive.

“What is it kid?” Tsunade asked raising an eyebrow at the still slightly panting Sasuke.

“I think I might know where Naruto is.” Sasuke said as he tried to steady his breathing. Tsunade raised a single eyebrow, causing the diamond-shaped seal on her forehead to deform ever so slightly.

“The blond brat? Do continue.” Tsunade said sarcastically, taking a swig from her cup.

“Apparently he worked together with…” When Tsunade’s head snapped up Sasuke caught himself from saying Karin’s name. “...Someone, and I have reason to believe he’s headed west, towards Suna.” Sasuke continued. “I’d like to request to build a team to go and retrieve him.” He finished confidently. Tsunade had said that they couldn’t search for something with no indication as to where it was, but now they _did_ have an idea where Naruto was! Sasuke knew not to get too hopeful but maybe-

“Absolutely not.” Tsunade said sharply and Sasuke tried his best to conceal his sharp intake of breath through his nose and the narrowing of his eyes. “You were beaten nearly to death from facing him alone a mere two weeks ago. You are _not_ going after him this soon after that ordeal.” She finished sternly. Sasuke opened his mouth to protest but Tsunade stopped him. “Save it.” She said. “My word is final.” And Sasuke had to bite his lip to keep from trying to retaliate again.

“Fine.” He said, his face showing no sign of emotion. “But I do expect you to give me a chance, provided I eventually show enough skill.” And with that, he turned out of the office and marched off.

“Brat.” Tsunade mumbled to herself as she turned to the pile of paperwork stacked high up on her desk.

* * *

He didn’t understand it.

He didn’t understand any of it. Why would he leave? What could possibly lead Naruto, someone so patient and forgiving, to be so irreversibly angered as to driving him to leave his home? And why hadn’t he told Sasuke, his best friend? That’s what they had been right? Best friends? Sasuke had always viewed Naruto as the most important person in _his_ life after his family’s execution. Hadn’t Naruto felt the same way? _(Obviously not if he didn’t come to you about this)_. He hadn’t known what to do… He hadn’t known how to act, so he’d done what he thought was right, what would keep Naruto with him. But he’d failed miserably, and now the blond was…

_(Gone. Everyone is gone.)_

Sasuke's feet kept on taking strides forwards, kicking up dirt behind him, dirtying his blue sandals. He raked his right hand’s fingernails along his left arm, a habit he’d developed shortly after his family’s all too early demise. Sometimes he wished he’d been blamed for the whole affair too. Then he would’ve been killed along with his family and he wouldn’t be dealing with the village now. Dying would be so easy... but he couldn’t. If not due to his promise to his family to keep on living, then now because he needed to save Naruto. The idiot thought he was making the right decision but he didn’t know what was good for him. Naruto was too nice. The outside world would…

_(It’ll eat him alive)_

And if it wasn’t just that, Naruto was without Sasuke, and therefore, without someone to control the Kyuubi, and protect him. Didn’t he know that without Sasuke he wasn’t just a danger to others, but also to himself? The thing living inside of him was pure evil incarnate, and was just _waiting_ to escape its vessel and kill Naruto. There was a reason that the linked seals had been used for so long. They were necessary and they worked so long as the jinchuuriki willingly gave their control to the Uchiha. _(And yet back at the battle he didn’t. He’s always let me calm down the Kyuubi but this time he didn’t.)_ And why? Because he believed that Sasuke was using him? That the village was using him? That wasn’t true in the slightest.

It wasn’t true, was it?

Sasuke was brought out of his musings by a familiar voice calling his name. He turned around to see the pink haired kunoichi jogging towards him, and instinctively he clenched his fist around his forearm that he’d been scratching, able to feel the slightly raised and rough skin that his nails had painted white. He hadn’t talked to her since she’d come to visit him in the hospital and he’d essentially told her to fuck off. Sasuke made sure to hide any looks of annoyance on his face as his eyes met the girl’s.

“Sakura.” He said simply, letting his right hand drop from the now faintly red forearm. “What is it?” He asked, tucking his hands into his short pockets easily.

“You’re out of the hospital, is what!” Sakura said, her eyebrows drawing together just a bit.

“You didn’t think to come see me?” She jabbed her finger into the center of Sasuke’s chest. Sasuke flinched at the contact and swatted her hand away.

"Why should I?" He deadpanned, crossing his arms and looking down at his _(only remaining)_ teammate.

"Because I'm your friend?" Sakura said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, huffing as she crossed her arms as well.

_(Because I'm your friend because I'm your friend but if he was your friend then why did he leave?)_

Sasuke blinked. He couldn't be mad at Sakura. This wasn't her fault. _(It's all my fault.)._ "You're right Sakura," Sasuke said eyes suddenly fixed on the ground. He glanced up as he continued. "I'm sorry." He muttered.

People kept on walking past, but Sasuke couldn't hear anything but silence. He looked up and saw Sakura staring him down. He stared back. He didn't know what either of them were looking for.

"He'll come back," Sakura said, carefully, like she was afraid if she said something wrong Sasuke might shatter. _(Was that an inaccurate assumption though?)_ "It's Naruto. He needs you right? To control the Kyuubi. And he doesn't stay mad for long. He probably just...made a stupid impulsive decision," She seemed to be talking to herself more than Sasuke. "He has to come back."

"What if he doesn't?" Sasuke said, the words flying out of his mouth before he thought them through, like something had punched it out through his stomach. "What if he doesn't come back? Tsunade won't let me form a party to go retrieve him and he's going to die without someone to help him. What if he doesn't want to be here? Then what?" Sasuke's face remained firmly neutral, but only because he'd already cried in front of one person today and he _refused_ to do it again. He turned to Sakura, whose eyes remained steely and mint and sharp.

"Then...he doesn't come back." She said. _(How can she say that so easily?)_ "We'll miss him and we'll hope he's okay but...We don't need him to live our lives, Sasuke." Sasuke didn't know when Sakura had grabbed his hands in hers, but he was suddenly aware that she had when she squeezed his hands gently.

_(You don't understand. I do need him. He's the only person I've got. He's the only person who understands what it's like and he can't just leave me like that. I need him I need him I need him)_

Sasuke tore his hands away, and felt his blood grow cold. "Why are you so calm about all of this?" He said, sneering, and the way Sakura wilted _(Sakura blossoms fall fall fall)_ almost made him feel guilty enough to stop, but she was so _casual_ about this all and it infuriated Sasuke. "Our teammate and one of our best friends has run away to certain death and you're okay with that?" He felt like screaming, like crying, but all he could do was say it in a monotonous voice as he stared Sakura down. All he had the energy to do. "We should be getting stronger! We should be trying to find out why he left! We can't just...Just accept that he's gone!" Sakura's eyes were so wide and green and fresh that Sasuke swore he could see a forest in them.

"You think I'm not upset about all of this?" Sakura raised her chin at Sasuke and jabbed at Sasuke's chest. "You need to wake up! There's some things we can't do! We are shinobi, and we have to know when to quit!"

"Well maybe this isn't one of the times we're supposed to do that then!" Sasuke said, and his voice was getting louder and he felt himself wanting to sink more and more into the ground. "How can you just...give up?"

"I haven't given up!"

"Then what the hell would you call it?"

"It's called _waiting_ , Sasuke! It's called realizing that we can't do anything right now and we have to work hard so that one day we can! I want him back just as much as you do. This isn't all about you!" Sakura was yelling now, and tears were beginning to form in her eyes. Blue on mint on pink. And Sasuke swallowed the lump that formed in his throat at that.

"Sorry." He said, eyes glaring at the rocks beneath their feet. "It's not your fault… I'm just…"

"Yeah." Sakura finished, wiping her eyes and sniffing. "We just...We just have to hope, you know? Hope that one day we'll be good enough to bring him back."

"Yeah…" Sasuke said, and his hand went back to scratching his arm. The skin was becoming raw.

* * *

Somewhere in the desert, the skin on Naruto's stomach burned.

* * *

The idea came to Sasuke in a weird middle space between dream and wakefulness. One, simple word.

_(Go.)_

The next morning, he woke up, packed his bag with food pills from Sakura, books from the library, and a few spare clothes. He paused for a moment to look at the photo of Team 7. It was nostalgic, and it'd only really been a few weeks since Naruto had left. Sakura grinned at the camera, Naruto smiling toothily, and Sasuke giving a small smirk, Kakashi ruffling Naruto and Sasuke's hair. Sasuke stared at the image. He would fix this. Not for the village, not because it was his job as Naruto's assigned Uchiha, but because he wanted to.

He would do this.

_(At least I'll try.)_

He ran off to Orochimaru's place of residence. It wasn't really a "house" so much as it was a place where someone lived. Orochimaru's place was right up against the base of the mountain into which the Hokage's faces were carved. The entrance was external and looked much like any house's front door, but past the front hallway the home opened up into a humongous cave carved out of the stone of the mountain. It was something like what Sasuke imagined the inside of an ant hill looked like.

Sasuke wasn't stupid. He was fairly certain Orochimaru was doing some morally dubious things within these walls, as he was sure most of all shinobi in the village were aware. A known secret. But Orochimaru was _strong_ and Sasuke clearly wasn't strong _enough_ . _(Eyes and blood and the fire of Naruto's forearm against his throat)_ Sakura said they should wait, but that answer didn't satisfy Sasuke. He couldn't wait when he could be knocking on Orochimaru's door.

 _Knock knock knock._ Sasuke rapped his knuckles against the front door. It was very early in the morning, but the jounin was known for being up and around town as early as sunrise, so it wasn't that-

"Looking for something Sasuke?" A raspy voice said from behind Sasuke, and he was proud of himself for not jumping. He turned around and there was Orochimaru, pale and intimidating as ever, the barely risen sun casting light on just the tops of his head and shoulders.

"Someone, actually." Sasuke said, and he lifted his chin in an attempt to show some sort of authority. "I want you to train me." He said.

Orochimaru raised a single eyebrow before his face softened into something that _may_ have been identifiable as a smile. "Why don't you come inside, Sasuke?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I seriously appreciate comments and kudos! It was rereading old comments that inspired me to come back to this.


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